It poured with rain all day yesterday (like something from Noah’s Ark) and I was bored because I felt unwell and had cabin fever as I hadn’t been out for a few days. So I went through some old notebooks and such and realised that I am a terrible procrastinator. My notebooks contained countless lists of classes that I really wanted to do in the past, all written down on page after page. Except I never did any of those classes, not one, because I was too busy talking myself out of doing them.
Anyone else would have just booked the class or made enquiries but not me, oh no. I wrote a list and ended up doing nothing, thanks to my binge-thinking and over-analysing.
Is it any wonder I’m always late to the party? A whole summer has almost been and gone and all I have done is one poxy class of Bikram yoga (where I sweated like a bull in a sauna). I promised that this year I would add more strings to my bow and do different things, but due to my hesitant ways I haven’t and I feel disappointed in myself. I even took a book out from the library about how to venture out of your comfort zone, somehow hoping that it would provide me with the definitive answer. I read the first few pages and it was full of scientific nonsense. Pushing yourself into trying different things should not be so formulaic! It should come naturally.
Well I am not letting this happen anymore. Procrastination is a bitch- I’ve met her many times. The fear of stepping out of my comfort zone is something that has held me back many times and it is the worst thing. I usually regret putting off things i am keen to do as I always end up at square one. It’s a vicious cycle- you keep doing the same thing until you become stagnant, which leads to resentment at how stupidly you go about things. You start comparing yourself to others instead of living your life and being self-conscious about the smallest things and that is dangerous. Trust me I know. I have been there and done that quite a lot and probably created the t-shirt (or put it off due to my procrastination).
But enough with the over-thinking, it’s time to start doing.