Bae Humbug.

‘Merry new year!’ as Eddie Murphy yelled in Trading Places.

One thing I hope for in 2015 is that the word ‘bae’ disappears forevermore. Oh, how I hate that word. An abbreviation of ‘babe’ or ‘baby’ and is- in my opinion -one of the worst words in the world. It sounds so awkward, like the person is lacking a vocabulary or too lazy to finish the whole word.

Why would you need to shorten a word like babe into something that makes you sound like a strangled sheep? Even on paper or on screen, it looks clumsy. I cant stand it, it makes me cringe as it is such a bastard of a word. Just say ‘babe’ or ‘baby’ or ‘boo’. That’ll do! It’s as awful as ‘chillax’, which makes me itch (do you know anyone who actually says this word? I don’t). And of course there is ‘my bad’, which has infiltrated the English language and has me despairing for mankind when someone uses it. The day you hear me use that term, slap me. I would rather say ‘my mistake’ or ‘sorry’ than say that.

Years ago, Take That soared to number one in the charts with a song called ‘Babe’. It was during the height of their fame first time round and all made all the girls in my secondary school (except me) swoon and cry at the same time while breathlessly insisting, ‘Mark Owen is singing it to meeee!’ No he wasn’t, dear. (And don’t get me started on the mayhem that occurred when they split up). Can you imagine if they remade it and called it ‘Bae’? I’m not giving Barlow et al any ideas but I laugh and shudder at the thought. Or ‘Baby Baby Baby’ by the legendary TLC renamed as ‘Bae Bae Bae’? Ooh, it makes me want to vomit.

Here’s hoping that it disappears from view over the course of 2015, because I do not want to hear that it has been included in the Oxford Dictionary at the end of the year in their list of ‘words that we will include to make us look trendy’. Hell no.

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