Bae Humbug.

‘Merry new year!’ as Eddie Murphy yelled in Trading Places.

One thing I hope for in 2015 is that the word ‘bae’ disappears forevermore. Oh, how I hate that word. An abbreviation of ‘babe’ or ‘baby’ and is- in my opinion -one of the worst words in the world. It sounds so awkward, like the person is lacking a vocabulary or too lazy to finish the whole word.

Why would you need to shorten a word like babe into something that makes you sound like a strangled sheep? Even on paper or on screen, it looks clumsy. I cant stand it, it makes me cringe as it is such a bastard of a word. Just say ‘babe’ or ‘baby’ or ‘boo’. That’ll do! It’s as awful as ‘chillax’, which makes me itch (do you know anyone who actually says this word? I don’t). And of course there is ‘my bad’, which has infiltrated the English language and has me despairing for mankind when someone uses it. The day you hear me use that term, slap me. I would rather say ‘my mistake’ or ‘sorry’ than say that.

Years ago, Take That soared to number one in the charts with a song called ‘Babe’. It was during the height of their fame first time round and all made all the girls in my secondary school (except me) swoon and cry at the same time while breathlessly insisting, ‘Mark Owen is singing it to meeee!’ No he wasn’t, dear. (And don’t get me started on the mayhem that occurred when they split up). Can you imagine if they remade it and called it ‘Bae’? I’m not giving Barlow et al any ideas but I laugh and shudder at the thought. Or ‘Baby Baby Baby’ by the legendary TLC renamed as ‘Bae Bae Bae’? Ooh, it makes me want to vomit.

Here’s hoping that it disappears from view over the course of 2015, because I do not want to hear that it has been included in the Oxford Dictionary at the end of the year in their list of ‘words that we will include to make us look trendy’. Hell no.

Scot Free?

So in just over 24 hours, the people of Scotland will vote in a referendum that could change the face of the United Kingdom forever. The question is whether they want to be a part of the UK and it’s a straightforward answer: Yes or No?

Much debate has taken place- most of them on television -and the polls have swung from one end to the next. I am  slightly baffled that certain people who are very much Scottish buy live, for example, in England are not allowed to vote, while people who are from within the EU and have lived in Scotland for a few years, can.

Watching from afar, it is too close to call but the way I see it, Scotland are in a win-win situation no matter what decision is made. Scottish people get free prescriptions and have done for a number of years, but should they go independent, they might lose that privilege at some point. If I were a Scot I  would not be happy to have that disappear because as an English resident, I would love to not have to pay £8.05 PER ITEM on my sodding prescription every few months. Plus their university students do not have to pay tuition fees, something I’m sure students south of the border would kill for. Ensuring these aspects are kept intact would be important if I were in Scottish shoes. Judging how the British government are bending over backwards to handover extra powers should they sidestep independence, the Scots have never had it so good.

The notion of independence is great and the clamour for it is such that I actually think the Scottish public will vote Yes. If they do then it is all systems go. But who knows what the future will hold? For all we know, the Scottish powers-that-be might start charging for tuition fees and prescriptions and then the fairytale of independence could come to a shuddering halt.

And don’t get me started on Scotland’s currency issues. As far as I am concerned, if you want to breakaway from Britain and strike out on your own, do not try to hold onto the British Pound. Do your own thing!

It will be one hell of an ugly, bitter break up and the unholy trinity of Cameron, Clegg and Miliband will be beside themselves if the union officially splits. The Queen will be upset at such an outcome and the aftermath will run for years to come. Will Scotland build something à la Hadrian’s Wall at their border? Will the BBC show the Hogmanay celebrations if Scotland become independent? Everything is up in the air. Roll on Thursday…

Random Thought of the Day: Mosquitoes.

Mosquitoes are dirty bastards. During this heatwave I have worn shorts, a skirt and cropped trousers and haven’t had one mosquito bite to deal with. The past two days I’ve worn jeans, full length jeans and to my astonishment, three big ol’ mosquito bites have swollen up on my legs. How the hell did that happen?!

Clearly they like a challenge and they found it in me. I know mosquitoes are sneaky little creatures that feast upon whatever they can find but they ignored my bare legs when they were on show, but flew into no-go zones such as MY TROUSER LEGS and bit me and I am outraged by their brazen ways.

I hate them. I hate their smallness, I hate the way they buzz past my ear on some summer nights and force me to fight them at 3am with a rolled-up magazine. I hate the way they made me hurt my finger the other night when I tried to squish one into the wall (I got it eventually). They are probably the only reason why I don’t like summer. Irksome little sods.

Striking Out.

Millions of public sector workers across Britain are going on strike today in protest over issues including pay and pensions. Their pay is not in line with the cost of living nowadays and they have had enough of the derisory pay rises which they deem insulting, especially when MPs gave themselves a big fat double-figure pay rise (11%) and then had the cheek to act like it was a tough decision for them to make. All that hand-wringing and bleating, ‘oh I don’t know if we can award this to ourselves, we’re in this together after all’- what a joke. We all knew you were going to take the money so stop farting around.

Anyway, in response to today’s protests the Tories have promised to tighten ballot laws, with David Cameron and his cronies saying that when the unions/public sector staff vote to strike, the ballots often have a very low turnout, so it is unjustified to announce strikes with such low numbers. Flipping cheek! If it wasn’t for the low turnout at the ballots in the last general election (and the subsequent pact with the turncoats, sorry, the Liberal Democrats) the Tories wouldn’t be in power right now. So be thankful for small mercies right, Dave?

I agree with the right to strike. The minute the Tories- or any other government -start fiddling with this principle, things will get much worse. We all have to work til we die now unless we get a spectacular windfall (come on, lottery win!), so it is imperative that this basic right is not messed with.

And to those people who think the government’s idea is a good one because they’re fed up with tube strikes- wake up. You think this won’t affect you at some point in the future? If not through this method, it will bite you on the backside another way or via another policy.

So good luck to those in the protests today and remember to remind the Tories of their breathtaking hypocrisy.