A Plane Disgrace.

United Airlines are doing their utmost to divide public opinion on them from ‘bad’ to ‘downright despicable’. A thirty-second video emerged yesterday of a male passenger being dragged off one of their flights, kicking and screaming and sporting a bloody nose. 

This incident was in full view of the other passengers and several security personnel carted him off while passengers voiced their anger and horror at such a thing. 

Where do I start with this mess?

Firstly, United overbooked this particular flight and then realised that they needed four seats to accommodate members of their cabin crew because they needed to get to their next flight. Oh, so sod the other passengers who want to get somewhere. The cabin crew asked for four passengers to give up their seats. When they refused, they played ‘eenie meenie miny mo’ and forced them to give up their seats.

United have a lot of nerve. It was their fault that the flight was overbooked and they wanted passengers to pay the price for their cost-and-corner cutting. Why should they? If they are so desperate to get their staff from A to B, use the CEO’s private jet, dammit.

Everyone I know who has seen the video had the same reaction: sheer disbelief. They can’t believe that if they go on a plane, they could go through the same thing and be treated as less than human for something that was not their fault. 

The passenger in question is a doctor- he could have been on his way to perform life saving surgery, plus…HE’S A DOCTOR. I’d rather he stayed on the flight and got to his destination and saw his patients than the airline staff. Couldn’t United have called on other staff members to stand-in? A big old airline like that had no extra cover for four people? Come off it. 

United Airlines gave the go-ahead for security to treat the man lower than a dog- and then had the nerve to defend it! The passenger booked and paid for his seat in good faith, checked in, had his luggage in the hold and was all buckled up and raring to go. His journey ended with him being dragged off a plane and into the world’s spotlight. A paying passenger was treated like a criminal. I could understand if he committed a criminal act but all he did was (rightly) refuse to give up the seat he paid for to accommodate United Airlines’ foolishness. 

In the last few hours, the CEO of United Airlines said sorry for the ‘truly horrific’ incident. It took him long enough. 

This was a disgraceful incident, no matter which way you look at it. I hope the passenger sues United Airlines for every penny because they have behaved in a shockingly callous way and shown that they clearly have no regard for their customers. 

Playing to the Crowd.

So this week’s Friday Fuckery is this man from Atlanta who set up a crowdfunding page to pay for his fiancee’s engagement ring. He aims to raise $15,000 for this purpose. 

Whatever happened to modesty? Why does he (and other people) feel the need to spend such exorbitant amounts on an engagement ring? You’re going to get married at some point so throw all your money on that instead. 

The man- whose name is William Oliver -even had the audacity to write the following sentence on his crowdfunding page: 

This will raise awareness about the difference between the love we share and the love people have for us. 

The cheeky bastard! 
So if someone does not donate to his ’cause’, they are proving that they love them less? He’s a shameless hussy.

He has since stopped accepting donations, which must have been a result of the public furore this has caused. At the close of business- oops! I meant the page, he raised $609.

Is nothing off-limits anymore? Last week, a young woman sold her virginity online to some random rich businessman for £2 million, in conjunction with the escort company that she works for. What the hell? Isn’t the time out lose your virginity supposed to be awkward instead of something resembling a scene out of Indecent Proposal? Everything has a price nowadays and nothing is sacred. 

But back to William Oliver- I’m not here for his reasoning that, by funding the engagement ring, his family and friends will be contributing to their future. That is emotional blackmail. If I were in their shoes, I would rather buy a vase. The engagement ring is the financial responsibility of the groom-to-be and he is showing barefaced cheek to suggest such a method. 
Anyway, shouldn’t he have the engagement ring on him when he proposes to his future wife, or am I missing something? 

If he cannot afford what he feels his wife-to-be deserves, then pick something more modest. It’s not a crime to be modest. As long as it is not a ring made of kitchen foil, I’m sure she would understand.

Pepsi Lost Their Fizz.

The internet has gone bananas about the new Pepsi ad starring Kendall Jenner...and not in a good way. Naturally, I have to throw in my two cents:

First of all, why is this advert nearly three minutes long? Unless it’s a charity appeal, there’s no need for any advert to have that duration.

Secondly, what was the point? I watched it thrice and still didn’t get it. I thought it was a parody. It was like a stylised, ultra glossy version of an American protest, with extra layers of FA-SHUN added by bringing Ms Jenner to the mix. 

What were Pepsi thinking? I wasted my time watching something that felt like a very colourful Gap ad or a music video than a pointed illustration of modern American life.

The advert was utterly pointless. Even if they were attempting to make a point (and I still don’t know what that was), this was probably the dumbest way to do it. Was there no person of colour at Pepsi HQ (or any person, in fact) who could have said, ‘Are you sure this is a good idea?’ 

Who decided that little ‘Wonder Woman’ bit where Jenner whipped off her wig was a slice of genius? It only succeeded in making me laugh. The fist bump between her and the black guy dancing throughout was cringeworthy, as was the mini-flirting with the violinist who cannot sip properly from a can of Pepsi. But let’s be honest, the entire ad was two minutes and forty-six seconds of cringe and I’m still trying to figure out WHAT THE FRIGGING POINT OF IT WAS. 

So if peaceful protestors of the past such as Martin Luther King and Malcolm X had a Pepsi on their person, maybe the powers-that-be would have been more sympathetic to their plight? If Black Lives Matter had a Pepsi multipack, things might have been less problematic? If only real life was as simple as handing a fizzy drink to a member of the riot police, eh? Why did Pepsi think they could crowbar themselves into this issue and turn it into something palatable, edgy and trendy (ugh)? It’s as bad as that time Sky Sports turned their Super Sunday credits into WAG Central: an unrecognisable football crowd full of gorgeous model-esque women, suited blokes and happy families all waving their hands to ‘Loving Each Day’ by Ronan Keating, with not a single regular-looking football fan in sight. 

Pepsi released an apology which only apologised to Kendall Jenner rather than those who complained about the ad- why I do not know. Ms Jenner is twenty years old. She is not a child. She can make her own decisions regarding which projects she takes on and those she does not, so why they aimed their apology at her and her alone is weird. 

Seriously Pepsi, stick to what you’re good at. In fact, all big brands should probably do so unless they’re absolutely sure they have got their message right. I’m not looking to you to make a statement on the world today- I want you to carry on making mindless and insanely expensive adverts that I can roll my eyes at and not expect anything other than you selling your cold beverage to me through heavy-handed product placement. Trivialising the protests of recent times into happy vignettes of aesthetically-pleasing young people in technicolor (I saw no diversity in terms of age in that crowd at all) walking through sun-drenched streets clutching cans of your drink is not the one.

© isanynamefree 2017

Endless Puke

Ladies and gentlemen, I may be suffering a bad cold but I think I have already seen the worst trailer for quite possibly the worst film of the year. Ok, I haven’t actually watched the film in question as it hasn’t been released yet (even the release date is straight out of the gimmick tree) but if you saw the trailer, you would understand why I felt the need to write about it.

The movie is called Endless Love and is due to be released on Valentine’s Day to appeal to those who enjoy love stories where you could write the entire plot on the back of a stamp. It also, ahem, “appeals” to those like me, who took one look at the trailer and wanted to vomit in my seat. There I was watching YouTube, about to skip this cringe-fest that appeared on my screen but I was so spellbound by its awfulness that I watched until the end. WHAT WAS I THINKING?

Before you all throw popcorn at me and brand me a cynical moose and how could I be so heartless about a film that portrays true love in such a beautiful way- just stop. I’m all about the love and peace and I like a love story that warms the cockles of your heart. But if you watched that trailer and thought it was good or even average, all I have to say is: really?! The minute the preppy, all-American couple (one of whom is from the wrong side of the tracks- how original) met by reaching for the same book that dropped on the floor, my eye-rolling reached record levels.

Unless there’s a major plot twist that they’ve deliberately left out of the trailer to surprise cinema-goers with their brilliance and creative vision (which I seriously doubt), I think I’ve seen more than enough at this point already. It looks so bum-clenchingly predictable- click the link if you don’t believe me.

A Bit Much?

Over the past few days, various news channels have sent their reporters and cameramen to Oklahoma following the devastating tornado and after several days of saturation coverage, I am fed up. Fed up of watching them stick microphones in the faces of survivors as they recover in their hospital beds. I watched a report of a woman crying as she lay in her bed recalling the tornado and the harrowing memories, such as hearing her neighbours and friends screaming for help. The tears streamed down her face and I felt so sorry for her having to answer the questions of her interrogator- sorry, interviewer.

Some might say it was cathartic for her to tell her story and yes, that’s true. It’s just I found it a bit distasteful. As much as we all want to hear eyewitness accounts about tornadoes (especially as they are so spectacular and yet utterly terrifying at the same time), surely we could wait awhile and let those who are affected have time to grieve and come to terms with what happened.

Many of them lost everything: their homes, their loved ones, everything they know. If I was in their shoes, the last thing I’d want is to speak to a reporter when I’ve barely gathered my thoughts, but that’s just me- everybody is different.

And then- on a different tack -there’s the ever-developing story of the despicable murder of a soldier IN BROAD DAYLIGHT in Woolwich yesterday. Words fail me as to why someone would commit something so heinous. But yesterday evening every single news channel showed that video footage of one of the murderers ranting away into a camera phone with blood on his hands, holding a meat cleaver.

Cut to this morning and all the newspapers had the same image on their front pages. And all I could think was, why are you constantly showing this? I don’t want my young nephews stumbling across it in a newsagents. That barbaric image could give them (and adults) nightmares but also causes people become de-sensitised to such things.

We all know what happened- we’ve read the tweets and seen the footage, so I certainly didn’t want to see that when I turned on the TV first thing this morning. They’ve started blurring out and cropping the images but it’s like shutting the door after the horse has bolted.

© 2013