David the Dunce.

I keep coming back to Brexit because it’s all that has been in the news this week. But one man has mainly stayed out of the limelight, even though he is to blame for much of this mess: David Cameron.

He should be made to answer to the British public. Thanks to his decision to call an EU referendum two-and-a-half years ago, this country is now in an almighty state and he’s got away with it. He called a referendum with no caveats and no criteria in place, just breezed on with smug arrogance while the Leave campaign shouted their propaganda via loudspeaker to anyone who would listen. He caused all this in the first place and then resigned and swanned off with his wife to go on a permanent holiday when things didn’t go his way, leaving everyone else to clear up the mess. Why has he not been called to account?

People voted for Brexit because they thought they were going to resurrect the British Empire and get loads of money back from the EU, while rounding up all the foreigners overnight and sending them back where they belong and keeping our bendy bananas (the same bananas that they leave on the supermarket shelf because it’s ‘too knobbly’, but I digress). Boris Johnson and Nigel Farage egged things on and let’s face it, it wasn’t that difficult to do so – just poke the beehive and watch the masses (or the 52%) get angry.

Cameron never gave an adequate response to these lies. He never said that if you voted to leave, you would lose the travel privileges that you currently enjoy and take for granted, such as being waived quickly through passport control; you might lose your timeshare in Spain because their authorities will want you out and put their citizens first; the budget airlines would increase their prices; the NHS and other industries would be at breaking point because all the foreign workers who keep things afloat will be sent back to their countries. He would have been right to say this – but he didn’t. Instead, he allowed the Leave lot to spout their hysterical nonsense (which they backtracked on THE NEXT DAY) almost without any comeback because he foolishly believed the British people would come good.

He didn’t even put any rules in place. For example, the result must have a gap of, say, 6% or more (e.g: 53% to 47%) in order for it to be binding. It was a botch job from the beginning. He inexplicably won the general election by a landslide the year before and got cocky and look what happened. The entire country has now gone to shit while he’s (as Danny Dyer said in his outstanding rant) ‘gone to Nice with his trotters up. WHERE IS THE GEEZER?’

Theresa May is going full steam ahead with her plan. During the week, she held a press conference where she started with such oddly defeatist language that I thought she was about to resign. But she led us on a merry dance and went, ‘Haha, I’m not going anywhere – choke on it, suckers!’

Her deal will likely see the UK give the EU obscene amounts of money while having no say in what happens next within the Union. It sounds ridiculous but what did you Leavers expect – that they would rollover and let us carry on regardless because we’re British and therefore, far superior to those pesky foreigners? They want to make us pay and won’t budge because they are the ones in control- and who can blame them? Surely it made more sense to remain in the EU because, as I have said before, we should keep our friends close and our enemies closer. When you’ve got Russian warplanes flying on the edge of the British Isles for fun and potential terror attacks while the police force is being depleted and budgets slashed, we need to be a part of this union.

Sadly, I think it’s too late to have a People’s Vote. We only have four months until we leave and, much as I like to think positively, I can’t see a second referendum being called anytime soon.

But back to Cameron, that treacherous bollock.

Let’s be honest, he couldn’t do anything but resign during that tumultuous morning after the referendum. He got cocky, he gambled and he lost and he did not want to lead the negotiations to leave the EU. That said, his resignation showed that he had no plan B in case he did not win, which shows how terrible he was as Prime Minister. One must always have a back-up plan when you are in such a position and his smugness royally backfired on him. But he still got off scot-free from the subsequent shitfest and it is not right, because he was the one who kicked all this off and led us down this mad path. If it wasn’t for him and his supreme arrogance, I wouldn’t have been drowning my sorrows in the pub that Friday afternoon post-vote result, cursing his very existence.

He has never apologised for the mess he created and left. He should be ashamed of himself.

©️ G. Holder

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The EU Referendum: My Vote.

With less than two hours to go until polling stations close, the people of Britain are voting in the biggest and most important decision in years: to determine whether we remain or leave the European Union.

Over the past year (and particularly the last few weeks and months) things have become very nasty and fractious between both camps. Inflammatory campaign posters, snide and vicious comments which has not done either side any favours.

Whatever way the vote goes, I’m not sure this country will ever be the same. There’s too much distrust and fear and loathing that’s been whipped up on both sides and it’s all been very ugly.

I know which side I’m on: I voted to remain. Yes, the EU is not at all perfect but I’d rather be in than out (shake it all about, woooah, Hokey Cokey…sorry). I would rather keep our friends close and our not-so-close-acquaintances closer because at least we can influence and make a difference rather than go it alone and hope for the best.

Many British people think that we can prosper and flourish without being shackled by the EU, to which I reply: with what? We have no industries- look at what is happening with the steel industry. Tara Steel is up the creek without a paddle and who is having to bail them out? That’s right: us, the taxpayers. When are people going to wake up and realise that BRITAIN DOES NOT HAVE AN EMPIRE ANYMORE. 

The world has long moved on and we are not at the centre of it. The world is now a global community, therefore things such as free movement and human rights are an absolutely essential part of our lives. Immigration has been the buzzword for the Leave side. They want a points-based system like the one that Australia has, where people enter based on their skill set and what they can offer to the country. In an ideal world that sounds good…but this isn’t an ideal world. Immigration will happen regardless of how we vote- that is a fact. 

If we leave the EU, the government- the majority Tory government that the public inexplicably voted into power -will get rid of workers’ rights to the point where there are none. The powers-that-be will pick and choose elements of the Human Rights Act that they want to follow and interpret it in their own unique way. You know those certain aspects of the law and the EU that make you puff out your cheeks in despair when you read about it? You ain’t seen nothing yet because if we vote to leave, our exasperation will be on another level. They will eliminate our right to strike and all you numpties out there who think this isn’t a big issue…well, when your employer screws you over and you want to exert your natural right to protest, make sure you re-read the above before you hold your head in your hands and cry.

There is an arrogance around that school of thought among potential Leave voters that worries me. So many people seem to think everything will stay the same if we leave the EU. As if the likes of France, Germany and Spain won’t make things harder for us if we dare to vote no. Those countries will stick the boot in if we leave- in fact, they will relish it. 

The ease with which we travel to our European neighbours will disappear and we will have to get visas to go there. Budget airline fares will go through the roof until they are no longer deemed ‘budget’. 

Our (current) European neighbours will be reluctant to do business with us. Even those outside of Europe will make life very difficult because they want us to stay. I know things won’t be easy in the short term, but that’s expected. It’s the long term situation that unnerves me should we leave. 

The NHS is the elephant in the room and it is likely it will be privatised within a couple of years should the leave vote be successful.

If my arguments have failed to convince you then ask yourself this: do you really want to be on the same side as Michael Gove (the pillock who is currently our Education Secretary and is unanimously despised by all teachers), Boris Johnson (who was the Mayor of London until last month and was pro-EU but has now changed his mind. What’s that all about, eh?) and Nigel Farage (whose only topic of debate is immigration. Countless other topics that he could talk about but no, he’ll only focus on that). 

My main hope is that things get better politics-wise and those talking head wind-up merchants (I don’t need to name them, you know who they are) somehow cease to get work in the aftermath of this vote, but I cannot see that happening. I hope that whatever the outcome, this country can learn from the numerous mistakes made during this lengthy, exhausting process. Fingers crossed.